It's me, blackberrybunny! Hello old friends!

[blackberrybunny]

Hello Nessa! Do you remember me?? From about 3 years ago? I have been visiting TOB and asking RedRox about you and he's been bragging on how great you are doing, and how you have become an exercise fiend now! Imagine that!! You were like me: "Exercise? Bah-humbug!"

Well, years have passed and now I am in a bad situation. I tore open 2 of my lumbar discs in my spine and now I am facing a multi level spinal fusion, so I'm having to lose about 40 - 50 lbs that I put on in the last 15 months since I got hurt. I am not able to exercise anymore, so it is wonderful to hear that you are loving it!!

Today is day 8 of phase 1 for me. I've lost 5 lbs so far. That is 5 pounds off of my spine. It's not helping yet. I am on heavy narcotics now, and all kinds of pills. Blood pressure pills. Antidepressants... sleeping pills. It's awful. My whole life has been torn away from me, and if you remember, I was born legally blind, so I cannot see to drive, have never driven....and I live way out in the country with my husband, no neighbors, no one I can call on for help. I am literally a prisoner in my own home because I can't see to drive. I had a little scooter, but now I can't even ride that, and getting in and out of a car or vehicle is slow and painful for me. So as you can imagine, my whole life is a wreck.

I am hoping to see some old friends here and reconnect. I really need some support right now. I have become the closest to suicidal as I ever have been in my life. Not even teen-aged-angst can compare to the despair I feel now, being injured like that and facing one of the scariest and probably must unsuccessful spinal surgeries there is. They have to put all kinds of bolts and screws and cages in my spine, and it means going in from my stomach AND my back AT THE SAME time. My bp is so high I am a risk for surgery now. But I am desperate to get the weight off of me, hoping it'll lower my bp and cholesterol too.

The pain meds make me sick to my stomach, so I've been having a hard time keeping things down and the first week was okay for me, but probably only because I was able to avoid the SBD flu because I am on so much medicine now.

My cat died this morning and I had to dig a hole and bury her, and she was pregnant, 2 months, and not a single car drove by as I was standing out in the yard, screaming in pain and sobbing and in agony, physically and emotionally. I couldn't leave her laying there like that in the sun all day, for my husband to take care of later, you know? So it's been a rough start to week 2 for me today. That and now my pain has skyrocketed back up to a "9."

Well, enough woe is me. I just meant to stop by and say hello and re-introduce myself. I sure didn't mean to bring everybody down.

[ladybugnessa]

OMG hello darling... so sorry to hear bad news... but glad if it brings you back to us.

please make a new journal and start back up with us... most of us just journal now and the board has taken an interesting turn in that we are all basically finding our own way in the world Anne Colored Green had LapBand, I had RNY (and yes i LIVE in the gym now 6 days a week.. I am a PROUD gym rat).... most of us are still eating if not 100% south beach healthy.... and yet we just love everyone no matter where they are in the world...

I hear you on the spine.. I was just diagnosed with nerve damage and arthritis... I do yoga to keep me moving... I hope you can get the surgery and it will help.

Like I said start a new journal... you'll have love and support in two shakes of a lambs tail.

[blackberrybunny]

OMG Nessa, that profile pic of you looks incredible!! You LOOK GREAT!!!! And your chin, it's so 'chiseled' looking. I got my double chin back. :( Course, I never really had much of a chin when I was thin anyways, haha!

But wow, I was hoping to see a new pic of you! Glad the little yellow chic avatar was replaced with a beautiful woman! And I LOOOOOOVE the little hat!!!

I will start a journal. I've never done that before. I've been getting a lot of support from RedRox and Kimboroni on TOB for the past week. So yes, starting a journal here WOULD be good for me. Thank you!! I'm so glad you still have your board up and running.

A gym rat, hunh? Wow, that is just amazing~!! The yoga sounds really nice. Just up my alley! But unfortunately, I'm not able to do any of that stuff anymore. :( But I'm so thrilled for you--you have made a comeback!

[ladybugnessa]

tell ya what I can do... I can move this to the journals for you if you want...

[rhales199]

HI! I had been wondering how you are doing! Not sure if you remember me, I'm Becky, my husband Tygh is legally blind... and he had back surgery in Aug 2007, so I can relate to some of the things you're having to deal with
sooo sorry to hear about all the %$*^& you're having to deal with, especially your sweet little kitty
Anywho, I'm sooo glad you're back here with us (& TOB).

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you!

[JSCsmom]

Welcome back, bunny!!

Sorry to hear of all of your troubles. Back surgery is not a fun trip. But it brought you back to us, and for that I am glad. Sorry to hear about the kitty... losing a beloved pet is always hard, but especially in your situation.

Know that we are here for you when you need us!

The folks on this board are the best!!

[maplover]

Hi BB

Not sure you will remember me from TOB, but no matter. Glad to hear you are back. Sorry that you are having a rough time. Do start up a journal and know that we support you wherever you are.

Barb

[littletessa]

hi, bunny! welcome!

yes, please make a journal in the journal section. everyone on this board lives in the journal area so if you post there you'll get lots of support and friends. and know that you do't have to be doing south beach here. you can be doing something else or nothing at all! this is a friendship board more than anything.

i'm so sorry to hear how terrible things have been lately.

[sheri]

Hi blackberrybunny and welcome. I haven't been at TOB for just about 3 years - so don't know if we ever crossed paths over there or not - but I'm sure you'll be happy to be here - and get loads of emotional support. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. We're here for you.

[Beeyatch on the Beach]

Welcome back! I was on TOB for about a year..here since. so glad you've joined us!